Focusing and the Relational Crucible
This edited presentation was given to Sandy Burg’s Learning Community on September 13, 2026. It explores some of the challenges of bringing Focusing into relationships.
Drawing on insights from Family Constellations, neurobiology, and powerful forms of couples’ therapy, we explore the many factors contributing to the complexity of relationships and the challenges of bringing Focusing into them. The presentation alternated with Focusing in small groups.
Apologies for the skips at certain times in the video: The Q&A sections were removed because I did not have permission to include them. View the slide pack (PDF) for additional information about Dan Wile’s “Six Positions of Couples Work.”
Time Index
Choose a time to open the video at that section in a separate window.
| Time | Topic |
|---|---|
| 0:00 | Introduction and Framing of Key Concepts |
| 1:50 | What Is in Our Field? |
| 3:50 | Biological Influences |
| 4:22 | Biographical and Psychological Factors |
| 4:40 | Systemic Forces |
| 6:00 | Archetypal Forces |
| 9:40 | Focusing and “The Unconscious” |
| 10:50 | Source Layer |
| 11:10 | Intentions and Goals Also Influence Our Field |
| 13:50 | Sensing into Layers of Your Field — in Groups of Three |
| 16:10 | Diagrams: Opening and Closing the Space for Emergence |
| 17:00 | The Three Streams of the Future |
| 18:45 | Levels of Activation in Relationship |
| 20:20 | Emotional Induction |
| 22:00 | Factors Supporting Emergent Process |
| 23:30 | The Role of Conditioned Responses in Generating Relational Disharmony |
| 25:10 | Table: Different Approaches to Couples Work |
| 25:22 | What Terry Real’s Approach Offers to Focusing |
| 27:50 | “The Relational Grid” and Its Importance |
| 31:35 | Terry Real’s Five Losing Strategies in Relationships |
| 33:35 | Further Resources and Information |
Other Offerings on This Subject
- For a more alchemical perspective, see The Relational Crucible — Ascent and Descent in the Night-sea Journey, a 2026 Resonant Healing Summit presentation by Camille Adair and Bruce Nayowith. The page also links to its slides.
- For a tour of approaches to couples work, see Resources to Support Relationships: An Overview of Valuable Processes and Practices.
This video brings together an alchemical perspective and practical processes, including neurobiology, Alison Armstrong’s four types of couples, Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Gottmans’ work, Nancy Dreyfuss’s relational flashcards, Polarity Management, and other ways to support healthy relationships.